domestic...ness

Today I was hanging out with some mommy friends of mine. My friend Heather, who is a TRUE domestic diva was teaching us how to can/jar veggies, fruit, jams etc. We had so much fun hanging out, and we came home with some home made peach preserves and canned peaches to boot! But one of the most interesting topics we chatted about was WHY WE GOT MARRIED?
I guess I missed it on Oprah the other day...but it really made me think. So, why did I get married? My quick answer was....."Well, because he asked me to"....my girlfriends of course know me pretty well, and enjoy my sense of humor, and know me well enough to know that couldn't be the WHOLE reason. So I thought fast and all I could come up with was well.....I love him.....and Chad is pretty much the only person on earth that could ever tolerate me :) I am NOT the easiest person to get along with on a 'round the clock basis. But, he loves me unconditionally....and he is my best friend....period.
Our conversation quickly changed to something or other, we finished our canning, and we all went on our merry ways. Heather to get her new granite countertops, Katrina to clean up the god awful mess we left in her kitchen, and me to register Caleb at school :( that blog is for another day....but the question followed me for the rest of the day. It was something I used to think about all the time...before I was married. Maybe some people think about it for a while after they are married too, but I didnt have time for that $h!t...I was too busy having babies and thinking about them to worry about my marriage for god's sake.
So today I reflected on this thought.....WHY DID I get married? I did not get married because I wanted to do somebody elses laundry for the rest of my life, or because I wanted to cook for 2 instead of 1. I surely didn't get married so I could have children, we all know you can do that on your own now a days. I did not get married because I wanted somebody to take care of me. I was and still am very capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much. And unlike a lot of young people, I did not get married just so I could have a wedding....why would you do tha anyways???? A wedding is a whole lot of money to just throw down the tubes! But in all honesty, it took me a while to remember WHY I got married....and Chad is still thinking about it :)
After much thought, it started to come back to me. I did get married for the most obvious reason. Because I love Chad, and I knew he loved me. And thanks to Father Conti I know the difference between LOVE and LUST. It's to bad more people weren't taught that in school. I got married because I wanted a partner. Because I wanted someone to share the rest of my life with. But above all, I got married TO CHAD because I couldn't fathom a day without this man in my life. Not a single day, not an hour, not a minute. I know it's not a very exciting reason....it's not sexy, it's not hot. But it's the truth. I married him because I want him to be a part of everything that I do, and everything that I am. I married him because I admire and respect him. I married him because I KNEW what a great husband and father he would be. I married him because I know that together "Irene & Chad" is so much greater than just...me. It is cliche, but he does make me a better person. And he is my better half....a much much better half....(he doesnt need coffee to be nice in the morning). Could you imaging if we were both like that?!
The way I look at it is this.....some people get married for the great sex.....do you think they are having sex when they are old, crippled, and wearing adult diapers? Some people get married for the money.....what happens when the money is gone? Some people get married for the security.....those people should just get dogs.
Boys and girls this is the deal.... people who get married for the excitement....well they get divorced. You can't have sex forever and your money may dissapear. But me, I plan on being married for a long time......to long to be exciting for all of it. Some of it yes, but I want to married and have a partner for the un-exciting stuff too, because that's what life is all about. In my 28 short years I have certainly had my share of UN-exciting times, but forunately for me I am one LUCKY LUCKY girl. I have a partner in every sense of the word. Not many people find it exciting that my friends and I got together to make jam while the kids played....I don't even think Chad did. But by golly, he tasted that jam and he even pretended to like it :) And I have no doubt that we will enjoy changing each others diapers when we are 98 either.